I completely forgot about the diary for the past 6 weeks! Is it a good sign? I hope so. Not feeling the need to write when I am feeling down. I haven’t really felt down, only a few times when my mind plays tricks, trying to make me self pity for the things I don’t have. Otherwise, I am doing pretty well. Concentrating on the things I do have.

This time I timed it right: letting go Fluoxetine during spring time. Last time (2020) I stopped at the end of summer: big mistake! By the end of October I was depressed again. So, this time I am prepared, and I am taking it off little by little. I am now on one day on, 5 days off. Basically there is not much Fluoxetine in me anymore. I even wonder if it’s good to take one tablet randomly every 5 days: doesn’t it give me a strange shot? As a matter of facts, yesterday, day of Fluoxetine, I did feel tired almost all day. I had to force myself to the swimming pool. But anyway, the day went through pretty smoothly, with even two sport sessions.

I will take the month of May to do 5 days off, and then I will do 6 days. I will stop completely at the end of June. Then I will be walking completely on my feet. Yeah! I don’t want to jinx it, but it seems to be working. I am building resilience in my body and mind. I have a goal by July: I need the ok of the psychiatrist that I can do the pilot license. I want to build strength without the medicament, so I am ready for next winter. I dread autumn and winter, the darkness and the cold. That is my weakest time, I know now.

More soon.