Month: May 2022

No Fluoxetine – so far so good

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I am almost through a month with 5 consecutive days off Fluoxetine. In a month, I am only taking 5 pills of 20mg Fluoxetine. In June I will go 6 days off. And after June I will stop completely. This year I have set the time right. I started reducing in February, 2 days off and 1 day on, then 3 days off and 1 day on, and 4 days off and 1 day on; I did this over the course of 3 months. Now I am off 5 days, in 2-3 weeks 6 days, and then the level of antidepressant in my body will be so low that it will be irrelevant. 20mg in 6 days is nothing. It means that the mood I produce is all natural. And this is great. Cause mood has been quite good.

Not much has changed in my life: no new love, work is up and down as in the last couple of years, some sport, not as much as I would like, some travel, definitely not as much as I would like, and I am still living in the same place. I am studying for my pilot license, and soon are the exams. I am following the psychological therapy by seeing my psychologist every 3 weeks. What is changing is the way I look at things, the way I let myself react to outside events. I can’t say I am truly happy, but most days I am serene. Once a month I feel like I want to cry, and I can’t put a finger to what triggers it. Sometimes I think it’s due to the Fluoxetine shot I take randomly (once every xx days) which must have an impact on my moods; and sometimes I relate it to the menstrual cycle and the swingy moods attached to it.

On days like today, where I tend to look ahead in time and can’t see an improvement of my work or love situation, I must make an extra effort to reduce my long term vision, not reflect today’s state with “the rest of my life” state, cause this is a dangerous thought that can lead to insatisfaction. And that is the true enemy for me. Insatisfaction. Seeing the glass empty instead of full.

So, on days like this, I’ll take some time to do an episode of my podcast, I’ll write a page of this diary, I’ll plan some good sport session, and I’ll work as if all was going in the right direction.

Summer has arrived in the North Hemisphere, and this is a huge help. I definitely look forward to the long sunny evenings, the 25 degree air temperature, and with some luck, I will meet some new nice people, and maybe love.

1 day on, 5 days off Fluoxetine

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I completely forgot about the diary for the past 6 weeks! Is it a good sign? I hope so. Not feeling the need to write when I am feeling down. I haven’t really felt down, only a few times when my mind plays tricks, trying to make me self pity for the things I don’t have. Otherwise, I am doing pretty well. Concentrating on the things I do have.

This time I timed it right: letting go Fluoxetine during spring time. Last time (2020) I stopped at the end of summer: big mistake! By the end of October I was depressed again. So, this time I am prepared, and I am taking it off little by little. I am now on one day on, 5 days off. Basically there is not much Fluoxetine in me anymore. I even wonder if it’s good to take one tablet randomly every 5 days: doesn’t it give me a strange shot? As a matter of facts, yesterday, day of Fluoxetine, I did feel tired almost all day. I had to force myself to the swimming pool. But anyway, the day went through pretty smoothly, with even two sport sessions.

I will take the month of May to do 5 days off, and then I will do 6 days. I will stop completely at the end of June. Then I will be walking completely on my feet. Yeah! I don’t want to jinx it, but it seems to be working. I am building resilience in my body and mind. I have a goal by July: I need the ok of the psychiatrist that I can do the pilot license. I want to build strength without the medicament, so I am ready for next winter. I dread autumn and winter, the darkness and the cold. That is my weakest time, I know now.

More soon.