This morning, while doing my routine mantra meditation, breathing in with a “So”, breathing out with a “Hum” (see my previous post), I was following the movement of my belly, up and down, as I kept breathing in paces of 6-6-12 (6 counts inhale, 6 counts hold, 12 counts exhale). And I couldn’t but think that the brain cannot only be in the head. What makes us feel, think, react, live, must be placed somewhere in our guts, and it’s maybe spread around, not identifiable in one single organ or section. Remember the gut feeling you have about something? You cannot quite tell what it is, but you know you should trust your instinct? Or what about the butterflies in the stomach when you see someone you really like, or when you feel you are about to achieve a great goal in that moment?

This reminds me of a book I heard of a couple of years ago, I will think of the title. Lots of studies have been made over the years, and if you Google “second brain”, you will find lots of litterature. I found this very funny article from 2012 BBC, where a journalist reports the journey that a mini camera made through his digestive system. Very interesting, and intriguing to actually see what happens inside us. All the more important for me to keep this in mind forever: I am and I feel not only through my head, but through my guts. And I want to find a better way to communicate with that second brain.

The Buddhists say “we are what we eat”, and that is so true. I mean, it makes sense, right? What else would we be, if not what we are ingesting? Air, water and food make most of our identity. Well I guess pollution too. That is why I am also taking a big step into cooking more from scratch, and eating organic food when possible, and diverse food, not one kind, not vegan because I need meat and fish from time to time, but not exaggerating with any of the foods. I will dedicate a page of this diary to food later.

So the greatest discovery for me, or let’s say re-discovery, thanks to meditation, is that I am now connecting with both my brains, and I am giving space to my guts, which I haven’t done in the past. I am pretty sure that some of the “subconscious” comes from there too. If only I could find a way to speak with my second brain, and to understand her language I will call my guts Agata (you can tell I am watching Casa de Papel :-)). Have you watched it too? So you know who Agata is.

Not an easy task, to listen to and understand Agata. But in only three weeks of regular meditation I have come to this conclusion. I am excited to see what else I will find out in 10 months, 1 year, 5 years from now. I only need to stay constant, and not only I will fight this depression, but I will learn about myself in ways I would not consider possible until now.

PS: I found the book about the guts. It’s by Giulia Enders and it’s called Gut: The Inside Story of our Body’s Most Underrated Organ. Watch her Ted Talk. If you read it, please let me know how it is.