Day Two of my resolution, and it’s already a challenge. Damn…

I have the will power of an ant… or maybe ants have a ridiculously big will power despite their size…. insomma, I am having trouble staying the course. As always I look at the big picture, and I see there is road work everywhere: my job, my pilot training, my podcast, my swiss naturalisation, my physical well being. Oh yes, cause when it rains it pours, I bring in all of my weapons to feel worse than I am. Piling up elements that give me a good reason to be self pitying. Great!

No, I won’t give in. Now I am going to concentrate on the good things that happened. Since yesterday, what did I do? I worked, albeit very slowly, but I made an effort to advance with emails and leads. Then I took a break to go to the swimming pool with the intention of swimming 2km; they didn’t let me in because I didn’t have the third vaccine shot; but the good thing is that, instead of feeling defeated, I went back home, changed wardrobe and went straight to the gym for an hour. I’ll do the same today. Friday is my third shot, so the pool isn’t a long wait.

What else did I do to be proud of? Oh yes, I logged in to my bank account to order a credit card; this may sound like a no brainer, but I have been procrastinating this for some time. First I checked Paypal as a method of payment (for my podcast) and when it didn’t work I blocked the process for a couple of weeks. This adds to the other things that don’t work right now. See how easy it is to get demotivated? Man… But I know the trick of my mind, and by writing this here, I am committing to take steps, from the credit card to the vacuum cleaner (my apartment looks like my soul) and the naturalisation quiz… I need to calibrate my mind to take one step at a time, to be ok with seeing imperfection in the big picture, I need to figure out a way to give value to every little move I make towards perfectioning the big picture.

Ok, so today I didn’t order a credit card, but I logged in and realised that logging in won’t help, I have to make a call to the bank. The ideal big picture is a picture with a nice credit card ready for my podcast, but to get there I need to make all the steps that are required to obtain the card. Today I took the step of logging in. It doesn’t show in the big picture, but once I get my credit card, the big picture will be more complete.

What else is missing in the big picture? Motivation at work. I will send more emails and will advance every day, even if I am moving at very slow pace right now. I want to use this slow time to advance with the other things are are part of the big picture. Like the swiss naturalisation test. So after this diary I will read some more swiss history, and get closer to my 19 jan goal (the written test). If they ask me about William Tell I know the answer :-).

What else is in the big picture? the pilot license, called PPL (private pilot license), which worries me because there is a lot to learn and I feel my head will explode. However, I am a smart person, and should be able to make it. Plus I love flying, being in the air, and skydiving. So piloting should come easy…. ok, since the naturalisation test is on 19 jan and the pilot classes start on 31 jan, I will not worry about the latter yet.

I feel a bit better than before. Jotting it all down helps.

When the damn winter ends, this will be good too.